As sure as I live and breathe, I feel like the way a person acts in life is directly correlated to a particular state of mind, or being, that is derived from (knowingly or not) a choice or action made previously in conscious existence. It could be in a positive or negative way but the point that I am remarking upon remains the same. I feel that is so relevant to the topic I’m about to speak of, that I’m not even going to elaborate further. What I do wish to delve more into is coming from such a perspective though.
I think it is common enough of a thing that most would people agree on when its stated that our choices make the person we are. Much like our thoughts that we create and choose, are choices are very much the same. I was always taught, thst the choices we choose to make, should be done so in the consideration that with whatever answer we chose, it is done so with the proper thought and responsibility. Whether it is picking the doctor of your first born, your mortgage rate, or just what pair of shoes your going to wear, every choice has gravity. Every single choice that you can willfully or wittingly make, can impact your life and the ones around you. Again, whether its trusting a stranger, saving money, just avoiding blisters, the choice must be regarded as a point of directly impacting and determining what is being manifested in life.
The comparing factor in this binary cluster of infinitely significant choices and actions in my opinion has always been valor. I use such an aberrant word on the basis that I was tryng to make clear in the latter paragraph, is the fact that bad actions and choices are dangerous and in ways infections to a positive prosperity and having a virtuous and wholesome life. He always said ” if the decision you make today isn’t going to serve you well tomorrow, make a different one.” Be that to be one of the truest things I know holds to my core of being, I know that I am perfectly aware of how the pervious mentioned is something that is certainly easier said and talked about, then done and executed. In a similar but separate matter I am also aware that making mistakes is not only important and necessary to personal and psychological development. I am simply saying that keeping such a sharpened and intuitive thought process is only able to serve a man best when used the most efficient way. As I stated before, and as I am sure most of the adult world will agree, its not always easy to make or even know what the best choice or action will be. However, it is to be in my best knowledge of the fact, that the earlier this is learned the better.
The afternoon this lesson was best taught to me was in the spring time, around my eleventh or twelfth birthday. Its was spring break from school and long winter before that. At that particular time when had moved a lot due to my fathers work. I had been to almost every school in the area but only for less then a years time before we moved again. Obviously being a kid that age, it was a big deal to me on the fact that I couldn’t have any solid or long term friendships outside of the family really. I had thrown in with some twin boys that lived two houses down I shared the school bus ride with.
Being towards the end of the break with superfluous amount of time on our hands, and the setting we lived in being that of not quite sub- divided Appalachia, we had one direction to go in if we yearned for the freeness of the outdoors, the huge and wild ” backyard.” It had became a favorite thing to do for us country youths to strap up our pellet guns and pocket knives and head out once boots were strapped and a water bottle of sweet tea were finished. Shortly after, out the back we went. We lived in a cozy and quaint house, simply because of the rugged wildness and displacement. Most of the other homes was shared by only a few in that area so it didn’t take long to “vanish.” Once we had cleft around a few the hollows and over a ridgeline or two, the surroundings changed I immensely. The part we were familiar with was sort of doglegged down and between both of hours houses. The older growth part of the forest was awe inspiring to me since the very first ttime I had ever stepped one footprint in the organic carpet of rich smelling soil with the tingle of moss on rocks and decomposing leaves crunching and stirring like slow crackling fire, being the young moving through the earth without making a ruckus is impossible. The immaculate and staggering beauty of these mountains is undeniable to anyone that has had the luxury and privilege to spent time there, and this is more so true for the people have lived there for and extended amount of time. Before I become any more surpassed the past the topic I wpould like to added that I wished to only go into such detail with the captivating glory and divine perfection that was the nature we lived in, but this was also a tremendously important time of self discovery to a young man such as myself in that period of maturing. This time particularly was different and long after the illuminating discoveries of my first spirit place. This time we did something we hadn’t ever done before, we crossed thru the brook that had always kept us “restrained” unto that side of that mountain. It is strange to thick of how random it seemed to be crossing it for the first time, I remember even being excited. Once we had peaked the ridge we were almost astonish to find a pristinely out of place pasture group spanning a extensive and wonderfully majestic like length.
At this specific time now I can ot recall what we had in mind when we decided to start a fire. maybe we were cold from the creek water, maybe we were bored or maybe because we thought we could handle it. I just know it was one of the worst choices I have ever made.
It’s a funny thing about being a boy at that age. About how doing something or making the choice to do something is effected by instances and influences when the main and most deciding factor is being a part of the group, or doing what others are doing on choosing to do. I know this to be also true in a more adult world, but in my opinion its most crucial when youre young because that is the time when you first grasp the sense of doing things in a group, while you maintain ones sense of free will and also you’re not feeling governed or constrained by a parental or authority figure. That being what it is, and with certainty of other things, long forgotten by myself and assumingly by my comrades, the fire started fine before everything went wrong.
To bind this story with my topic of the importance of the decision and actions choice, I was explaining and remarking upon earlier, I saved this piece of information for last. While we had all four been gathering firewood and messing around, I soon realized I was the only one that didn’t know we weren’t going to have a fire. Even more so, I was the only one that didn’t know ab the bottle of gasoline one of my friends had brought. When I made it back over to the fire from grabbing more sticks they had already begun making splashes and spoofs by the edges of the flames. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I ahd enjoyed a laugh or few when it was still on a smaller scale, after all it wasn’t like we had five gallons or nothing. Well about that time when another splash of the intense little combustion, I looked over and seen the top of the gas container was on fire and freaked out!! As soon as other others saw the same frantic expressions were more than just shared and experienced together but something major in the kind of way that you REALLY found out just how not in control we may have thought you were. In the commotion the bottle had gotten tossed on the worst direction as guessable, in the very fire that was making the situation as real and drastic that it was. Thinking back it is hard to know exactly how far we were from the first initial fire, but recalling to the best of my capability I would say about twenty five thirty feet. The boom was the biggest I had ever herd outside of gun fire or something like that. The heat that kissed my face made my noise twinge and shrink between my eyes. The vibrant flash of orange and yellow blended with the flashing crimson mixing with coal black smoke was enormous, to make matters worse was how windy it had seem to became. Before we knew what happened really a gigantic area was engulfed in dancing hellish burning that seemed to be a football field wide. Im sure thinking back it wasn’t even half that size but the next conceivable thought I had come to mind just in time. I ripped my shirt off and began furiously stopping and beating the flames down as rapidly as I could. By the time I had thought to look up to see what the others were doing, I was extraordinarily relieved to see them all doing the same. The luckiest thing that happened that whole time was the fact that there were many flames but not huge roaring ones much. The concept of time has always been a humbling as well as sternly enlightening influence guiding me all my life and there have only been a few times were I can remember it feeling like it totally stopped. This was absolutely one of them, its totally true when people going through an abnormally high stress situations, they feel like a second lasts for an hour, if you don’t believe me try holding on to something really hot…same principle. After “forever” pasted and we finally got it under control we barely stuck around after we noticed it was out fairly well, beaten, bruised, battered and badly shook, we all made the trek back.
Slowly but surely, step by step, closer we came the more nervous we all got. All we could think about was how long we’d been gone and more the tell-tale burn marks on our clothes along with the char and smell. After we split I was finishing the last end of the hike and well as trying to finish the last of my story or excuse if I had got caught trying to sneak in and change. In all actuality I very well could have made it in through the back door and upstairs to my ridiculous repertoire of clothes and shoes. As karma would have it, or possibly irony, walking up yo the back the of the drive way my father and and couple of his employees trucks and van pulled in. I didn’t even try to hide or faulter from my step because I knew we would know as soon as he was able to get the good look at me. The worst luck part thought was after I decided to sneak in anyway I was met right on the pourch by my mom who was coming to see who had pulled in with my father….hook, line, sinker, I was soon fish bait.
Thankfully not long after mom had started yelling, and come to find out she was saw the damn smoke, go figure, the trucks left and my dad came walking around from the garage……to be continued…